Friday, November 14, 2014

Of Being a Fangirl

If there is one thing about me that will forever hold true it is that I am a fangirl. If I decide that I like something, I go big, I go hard, and sometimes it makes me pee my pants. But there is no shame in this game. 


Lately there's been a little shame. 


But we'll get back to Mr. Styles in a minute. 

Anyone who's had a 5 minute conversation with me has had to discuss my favorite Beatle, my favorite Beatle's son, my favorite Monkee, my theory on Mad Men, Harry Styles' hair, my favorite character on I Love Lucy, baseball, and has seen me cry at the mere mention of LOST. I am an insufferable bore and I don't know how I still have friends.

Speaking of friends, I will also gladly discuss F•R•I•E•N•D•S and how horrible I think Monica's hair was and how I hate chunky 90's shoes and oh my god I took a facebook "Which Friend are you?" quiz and I'm Chandler but I think I'm probably Ross, if anyone is interested in that subject. 

Yet each one of these topics is a tree in the bigger, much more interesting and complex forest that houses them. And that forest of obsession is well-kept and coveted by the fangirls and fanboys that sow it. 

Now me being obsessed is nothing new. Me being obsessed with One Direction, that's pretty new. I am currently completely wrapped up in the soap opera that is the Harry Styles/ Louis Tomlinson possible hidden love story as depicted through the symbolism of Harry Styles' instagram posts and possible PR seeding. No seriously, it's a thing. A very, very fascinating thing. And whether it ends up being real or a very elaborate head cannon created and built upon by fans, doesn't matter to me in the same way it doesn't matter if reality TV is scripted. You have me. I'm hooked. 

 
Now, just spending a few minutes on tumblr in any fandom, you will inevitably come across the most realistic photoshopped pictures you have ever seen, the cutest drawings you've ever seen, the most amazing sketches and art, a lot of it is kind of smutty but it's amazing. And the well edited videos, the sense of humor and comradreie. And then there's the fanfiction which gets all kinds of eye rolls and shade from the outside world but it might hold the greatest admiration in my heart. I've only ever read Beatles fan fiction because it's the only fanfiction that has held my interest, however the very fact that it is a thing that people are so passionate about makes my English Majored heart want to burst. And going back to the One Direction fandom, there are a lot of teenagers coming up with this stuff, writing, photoshopping, creating, studying entertainment law and marketing and body language analysis, tattoo symbolism, fashion and probably the most beautiful part in any of this, these kids are fighting for equal rights and getting very involved in the LGBTQ+ community and embracing their fellow fandom on whatever choices and hardships the others are going through. It's really quite beautiful. 

I love the fangirls and fanboys. They are my people. 

Now excuse me while I go find out what shoes Louis Tomlinson is wearing today. It might be another clue. 



Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Hey! You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

Don't tell me I don't know John Lennon's struggle.

So the other day, the glass started falling out of my iphone. I broke it with my face taking selfies or something so I had to take it in to the Apple Store for emergency surgery. 

Do you know how terrifying it is to turn your phone over to someone when this is your camera roll? 


Yes, that is Harry Styles. Yes, he is in that One Direction Boy Band. Yes, I am 38. 

I completely understand, you don't have to sit there and snicker at me okay, Judge Judy? And before you get all up in a tizz, let me break some of this down. 

I am a fangirl. I likely always will be. I am an embarrassment to myself and everyone who knows me and again, likely always will be. 

I don't listen to their music. I barely knew who they were, but I watch TMZ so I had definitely heard of Harry Styles. And he looked like this. 


Thanks no thanks. Enjoy your Seventeen Magazine status, little boy. 

So why now is THIS showing up on my internet and confusing my brain?!


Who have you become you hot little rocker man? With your tattoos and bun that looks way better than mine picking out pumpkins in Los Angeles?


Stumbling down the streets of Hollywood possibly drunk and then puking the next morning on the side of the 101???? 

Like I can't even.

WHO ARE YOU???? 


He's British, he's a rock star (debatably?) he looks like a rock star though so, yes. He's out partying like a rock star and he may or may not be secretly gay. Hits all of my checkpoints. 

I am coming out of my Harry Styles closet. 

And since we're being honest with each other, I may have also watched their little movie thing called This Is Us because I might also be crushing on Louis Tomlinson, also of One Direction. 



IT IS STILL LESS THAN HALF OF ONE DIRECTION don't you leave me. 

Be prepared because I do plan on writing a whole post on This Is Us but it will probably be way less embarrassing to my family name so, seperate post.  

Please Universe, let One Direction break up so I can love Harry and Louis in the open without the boy band stigma like I can with Justin Timberlake. 

That would be fantastic. 

N'Sync was a really good group.

UPDATE: Update with an additional picture of Louis so you know that I'm not crazy.


Dreamboat

Thursday, September 25, 2014

September 25th and my Current State of Busy Not Busy

It's September 25th. Today is my Friday the 13th. Examples; in first grade, I was stung by a bee and had to ride the entire bus ride home with a bee butt in my finger. It swelled up so bad, my mom had to call the doctor and wrap it in baking soda and gauze and I've never been able to remain cool around those little evildoers again. In 7th grade, I left my locker wide open and when I got back from class, expecting my stuff to be stolen or strewn about I found nothing. Someone must have just walked by and closed it but it could've been seriously embarrassing so it still counts. And then on this day in 8th grade U.S. History, a boy sitting next to me chewed up a bunch of sunflower seeds and machine gunned them from his mouth all over my face and hair.

It's also my mom's birthday. Happy Birthday Mom. Sorry you had to pull a bee butt from my finger. 

I realize that you're thinking "Geez, Amy this all sounds pretty ridiculous and 8th grade was a long time ago. You really need to let some stuff go." Well to that I say, "You need let your judgy aggression go". Real nice. I thought we were friends. 

All that being said, I'm not 100% confident I won't be spit on today, I'm kind of not confident about that any day if we're honest, but today of all the days. I'm also bound to sew my finger into these purses I've been making.

Yay purses. I have 12 of them that I'm making from The Charming Bag pattern from One Yard Wonders

 

Nine of the bags are custom orders so I just rounded it out to make an even number. I do now realize that 10 is also an even number and much more attainable. No matter! I'm trudging on (is trudging a word and am I using it correctly?). I figured that since cutting the pattern out is the absolute worst, I would do that first. To all of them.


Bruised my fingers. 

And this is what I've been doing and also not doing. You see, assembly line style sewing is kind of boring sewing so I haven't been working as efficiently as I could be. Also, I keep looking at this and laughing. 


Is that a robot butt?? 

I have everything cut out and am now just sewing it all together 




And one to itself. 


This is why I don't have high hopes that today, September 25 is going to work out in my favor. This topstitching the handle to the back of the bag business happened yesterday. 

I also have helpers.



 
Wish me luck.

EDITED TO ANNOUNCE: I was stung in the neck by a bee today. 

The curse is real, my friends. The curse is real.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

The Instagram kid.

You know that kid, the impossibly perfectly dressed kid who is the same age as my Wally? The kid we all wish our sons would dress like? Or our husbands? 


Well I can't even get my kids to wear clothes half the time and when they do, they insist on dressing themselves which, although character and self esteem building, means that they are often dressed like Ace Ventura. 


Like a lot of the time.


So back to this Instagram kid. He's adorable. He has impeccable style and he's inspired others(' parents). 


And there in lies my problem with this. Either those kids are not able to be normal kids or they are ripping the crap out of their Stella McCartney pants as soon as the photographer (or mom) turns her back. 

What impossible egos are these kids growing into? It's like American Psycho, the prequel. 


I sound like a jealous monster. Maybe I am. I mean, I am in that I wish my boys were these polished, perfect Instagram kids but then I think of the reality of the situation; my kids could find dirt and mud in the most sterile of environments. They're like Rambo of dirt. 


And possibly these Instagram boys are more like my boys than their pictures would have you know. 

It's like Toddlers and Tiaras for boys. 

Oh my god, TLC! Get on that, I would so watch that show. 

Here if you want to read more about the Instagram kid. 

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

John Lennon ghost wants me to keep the internet and you don't argue with John Lennon ghost.

Pop Quiz!

What do you get when the most disorganized person in the world tries to take on PTA fundraising responsibilities, run an etsy shop, agrees to attempt to write a comic strip, agrees to attempt to write a book, and tries to write jokes in her kid's lunch box everyday because she saw it on Pinterest?


Me. You get me, the disorganized fool spending the rest of the day slagging off all of everything, watching the kids play outside for hours and sipping on wine.


And now as I type this, feet kicked up in defiance of THE MAN, very much Ferris Bueller to be honest, I'm listening to my kids kill each other in the other room and I'm going to have to go investigate this, aren't I? 

Oh, nevermind, here they come yelling at me.  Apparently there's been an attempted murder by "slapping and a cardboard brick to the eye and even the nose!"

This is why I feel like I'm opting out today. Because I feel like I'm on the verge of drowning and so, going gently into that goodnight, I just stop swimming. 

(I have dreams like this, by the way. Where I'm holding on the outside edge of a hot air balloon, certain death below me and I start questioning if it is just easier to let go.) 

I should disclaim here that I am not suicidal. That's also the second time I've felt the need to write that down in my life so that people know that- yo, murdered.  The other time was when I was 12 and I wrote in my sparkly journal, I wrote "if I ever die, I was murdered because I would never kill myself. I am not suicidal" and then I wrote something about how cute Johnny Depp is. So, similar if not exact to how I feel today. 

Also, when I was 5 I made a deal with the devil or whoever that I was never going to die so, suck it, haters. And murderer.
 
Anyway, back to my story of when I was outside ignoring everyone digital and just watching the boys play, I realized how very little I take time to do this anymore. I'm always answering emails and facebooks and tweets and looking at Pinterest and not just watching the boys play in the dirt which used to be mud but, drought. 

This makes me think that we need to break up, internet.

I feel the worst for my husband in all of this because, first off, the kids don't care. They really don't, Every Other Mommy Blog I've Read this Week. Here's the thing; they know that I love them, that I put the phone or computer down whenever they have question or speak in my direction, I have two sets of ears, the mom ears directed at only them 90% of the day, and the boys are pretty much ignoring me anyway and somehow, despite ALL my screw-ups, they are the most polite, loving, well-adjusted kids I could hope for. So whatever. Raise your kids how you do. 

But back to the husband, "Ward" as we call him. I think he has to hate me by now. Because when I put myself into his shoes, I'm the worst as wife. He does all the dishes, grocery shopping, money making (mostly unless you want to buy my stuff from my etsy shop??????) and in general, I probably look like Peggy Bundy. He would never say that to me but, this is how it looks from outside my skin. 

So, I've made up my mind. I'm going to kill a few birds with the Amy vs America's Housekeeping stone that I have been not throwing for many months. It begins tomorrow. I don't care how busy I get, I'm back on the ball. I will schedule time to do it. And sewing. 

I just don't know how this applies to my interneting. I think I have to take a bre- OH MY GOD IMAGINE JUST CAME ON THE TV JOHN LENNON DOES NOT APPROVE OF OUR BREAKUP, INTERNET. 

Alright, it's settled. 



Saturday, August 9, 2014

PAUL MCCARTNEY!!!!!!!!!

So tomorrow night I'm seeing Paul McCartney for the second time. 

I have yet to get "out of my mind" excited. 

Until now. I just took some stupid Facebook quiz about how many Beatles songs I know by lyrics or whatever and this thrill and chill went through my bones

Oh, and? I know all of them. Pshaw!

Oh and also? I am seeing a Beatle tomorrow night!!!!! 

So I don't think I ever told the story about getting a new iphone (the pink one) and losing 80% iTunes library.

Sean Lennon- gone.

weezer- gone. 

Girl Groups of the 60s- gone. 

A million years ago and a million moves ago, I somehow lost my Magical Mystery Tour cd. And being that Beatles' Apple and iTunes' Apple didn't get along so well for a very long time, I couldn't just download it and be done. And I didn't ever get around to going to a record store and picking up a new one so my Beatles collection has been down one Beatle album for a very very long time. 

Finally, after all the dramatics and whatever, Beatles were on iTunes (and hitting the music charts again btw) and I splurged. 

I finally re-got Magical Mystery Tour and played the crap out of it. 

And my Beatles collection was complete and listenable from my phone at anytime I saw fit. 

  
Ahhhhhhh. 

Fast forward to present day Sherman Oaks. 

Thanks, iTunes, I currently have one Beatles album left. 

Magical Mystery Tour.

Goo goo gajoob.



HOLY CRAP PAUL MCCARTNEY TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

My Mid Century Modern Obsession.

Now this shouldn't come as a big shock to anyone that knows me, but I'm kind of in love with everything Mid-Century Modern. Everything. This and that pesky time-travelling unavailability nonsense are the main reasons I probably can't live in the 40s- my favorite of all the decades. And The Beatles. I need Beatles.

 I also love Mad Men, obviously. Of course I do. So when Don and Megan moved into that apartment, oh my goodness.





 
In.

Love.

The mirrored entryway with the planter



and that hanging lamp thing



are pretty much the best parts for me. And I kind of want to replicate them immediately.

Good thing there's pinterest....

Although I want this couch from The Dick Van Dyke Show



And the house from Bewitched.



I don't really think I'm asking too much here...
 
Although Tim the Tool Man Taylor blew the whole thing up, so maybe I need that time machine.
 
Or the I Dream of Jeannie house.
 
 
 
The fact that I'm probably not going to get these houses does little to stop my want.
 
And you know I'm going to try to make that lamp. And that mirrored planter entryway thing that the Draper's had? I could do that easy.
 
And I need a new couch.
 
And this for my tv.
 
Or maybe this.
 
 
 
I need this too.
 
 




Monday, July 14, 2014

The Coffee Sack Situation.

My husband, Ward Cleaver works as your typical Don Draper account getter for a local coffee roaster here in good ol' Los Angeles.


Ward working very hard.

He really does work hard and can make stuff like this which is pretty awesome.

 
Follow him on twitter. I don't know his instagram name.
 

And because he works at a roaster, they have all kinds of coffee sacks. So Ward, probably trying to save himself some money on my fabric collecting obsession, brought a bunch of used coffee sacks home and dropped them right on the living floor saying "Make me a messenger bag, woman" or something similar
 
 
I'm not kidding when I say a bunch of coffee sacks.
 
So I did.

In construction. Ignore my foot.
 
 
Finished bag! Ignore my mess.

I am SO in love with this bag!!! I'm not so in love with the four sewing machine needles it broke or the RIDICULOUS mess the jute/burlap makes all over my floor, in my eyes, clogging up my machine, but it is so worth it, because LOOK AT THAT BAG!!! !

Like a lot of things, I got myself all worked into a tizzy about this and well, bags have been made.

Some arty shot that g+ made.
 
vs my arty shot. No contest.
 Call me up for your annual family Christmas picture.

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
So I've got some to sell. These are on etsy right now and there will be many more to come I'm sure. Also I'm thinking of getting into the wallet game. And some kind of Pinteresty bunting maybe. (probably not).

Etsy shop link is here and the link to each bag is under the picture.

Coffein

Compagnie

ETH4

514B

Bio Latina


 OOH! Christmas stockings!




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