Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I Want my MTV- Oh no, wait, no I don't.

Rock is no longer sweaty.

Rock is no longer cool.

Rock is no longer sexy.

Rock is no longer loud.

Rock is no longer leather-clad.

Rock is no longer a graffiti-ed brick wall in a basement somewhere.

Rock has lost its roll.

Kids in the Hall's Mr. Gorginchuck was right?!

So sometimes I just want Rock and Roll. You do too?! Awesome!!! Don't know how? Not to worry. Start yourself off with these  (man these are awesome!)

Friday, January 15, 2010

The sum of its leftover parts.

Paul McCartney.

Ringo Starr.

I love you.

This Ringo guy has a new album out called Y Not and I know that everyone else on the planet has talked about it too, but I must join in. That's what I do. I bandwagon surf. So this new album of his, I haven't heard it yet, but I want to. I don't know if it's a desperate cling to the last of The Beatles for me or what it is, but I am oddly drawn to this album and I'm not usually drawn to The Ringo.  But why not? (hahaha! I'm the only one laughing. Don't drink and blog on a Friday night, friends).

Actually, I do know what it is. It's because of that other Beatle. The "famous" one. It's because they're the last two left. It's because they're working together again. It's because, (I think?) that the last time they sung on an album together, George was alive and it was kind of a reunion thing called "Anthology" or something. It's because this is kind of a big deal.

This is kind of a really big deal.

Now these two living Beatles, I don't understand them. They don't seem as "real" as the dead ones. They don't seem as vulnerable. They don't seem as open. They seem grumpy. They seem isolated. They seem locked in a bubble, where the other two seem to drift freely in the universe. Oh wait, maybe I do get them. It also makes you think that maybe being in the biggest rock band this world has ever seen might not have been so awesome. It's like Beatlegan's Island and Paul and Ringo are the only ones left. And it's maybe not so bad for Ringo these days, but imagine being "SIR PAUL McCARTNEY". Imagine being the most successful songwriter of the world, EVER. Imagine losing everyone who's ever meant the world to you except for your brother and Ringo (and children, but that's a different trust).  And in all of that, not that I know, but I honestly believe Paul was never as close to anyone as he was to John Lennon - even Linda. And maybe Paul is transferring that need to Ringo. Awkward, but still, totally cute.

I love Paul and I always seem to be trashing Paul and I really don't mean to. However, (sorry Paulie) Paul has always seemed too good for the other Beatles (other than John.) I mean, look at "When We Was Fab" by George Harrison. Ringo's in it but they have a stand-in in Paul's "Walrus" outfit. Was that Paul's choice, or George's? Either way, weird.

  I remember reading some interview, perhaps the Playboy interview that I'm too lazy to reference right now, that John was quoted as saying that he and Paul were The Beatles and that Ringo and George could've been anybody. (Ah crap, now I feel like I should find it. Hold up. Whatevs, it'll be an afterward. Don't look at me like that. You go look for a John Lennon quote and see what Google pulls up for you! - Actually, let me know if you find it. Bighelpthanks.)** Anyway, John said that he and Paul were The Beatles and if you read any book about this band, or you watch Anthology, you'll see that in this Beatle family, John and Paul were like the parents and George and Ringo were like the children. And you can see that George and Ringo still feel they are being treated that way, but without John, Paul looks like a diva who's trying not to look like a diva.

And then they go from 3/4 to 1/2.

And now it's just them. Paul. Ringo.

They roomed together on tour during the Beatlemania thing. They were homies. They are homies. When Ringo went all crazy saying he wasn't going to sign autographs anymore...

 Paul defended him on Letterman.

And Ringo had this little album coming out with a song called Walk with You, Paul made it better. And it totally just makes me cry.

Anyway, I feel a new love for Ringo. Thank you, Paul McCartney.

** UPDATE (Jan 29, '10) This is as close to that mysterious Lennon quote that I've found so far. Still quite accepting of help, by the way, wink wink.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

"What's on your mind?"

-asks facebook, seductively. I cannot resist the temptation handed before me in form of online confession. It's my new vice. I gave up smoking, I took up facebooking.  And I cannot stop the Stat-up.

For those of you who lurk, simply sitting back and watching the typed chaos play out, sidelining it- popping in and out between doing real things outdoors with your life, I envy you. For even if I am outdoors, I'm stat-upping from my iphone. And it's not that I think that everyone, or ANYONE cares if I'm eating lunch or stubbing my toe, I don't commonly "up" those things, it's the other things, the sentences that pop into my brain that seem crazy but amuse me and happen to be in like 140 characters or mostly more. It's these that must come out, must be broadcast to the world (or my 142 peeps).

So here are my self-imposed facebook stat-up rules.

(wait, before I go on, let me just check facebook...ok, I'm back)

Rule #1. -Spell-check
I'm sorry and I know it's not right, but I can't help but judge people when they misspell simple things. However, if intentionally done and done correctly (not like see #2) misspelling can be used for funny. But every time I see someone has used "there" for "their" or "they're", I immediately picture him or her with three teeth and over-alls. So before hitting "enter" I do a visual scan so as not to be confused with one of these folks. Keep in mind, I've HAVE made said mistake several times. <-- I want to fix this typoed sentence, but instead I will laugh at myself because that, my friends is instant karma for my judging ways. Foiled!  

Rule #2- No Text-speak or whatever the crap it is.
Even if you are a "kitteh" belonging to hillbillehz and you lived the top of your game two years ago, you're still a friggin' hazbeen. KNOCK IT OFF! Here's your bleedin' cheeseburger! The same goes for replacing "th" with a "d". Only Snoop D oh double G is allowed that. You're not him.

Rule #3 - Do not go flashing about with your TMI. No one wants to read it. I promise. 
You got your period. AWESOME! You had sex with your man last night, KILLER! but I hate to break it to you, you're grossing people out. I try to limit myself on what I'm sharing based on if it's something I really want my dad reading.  That's my rule of thumb. Also, people will come up to me days after I've written something and bring it up in conversation. Weird. Could be weirder. Think about it.

Rule #4 - POP-CULTURE! 
Everyone loves pop-culture. If it's TOO current though, you run the risk of blending into the crowd of everyone else- if it's too obscure or "old" as it's been explained to me, only like one other person will get it. Not good enough! We're looking for "likes" and comments here, people! Since most people are normal, I try to refrain from the Taxi and Rhoda talk and I shoot more for Spice Girls and Family Matters referencing. Try it. Peeps get all recognitious.

Rule #5 - If it makes me laugh after I've typed it. Hit send. 

Rule #6 - Chill on your Awesomeness. 
Limit bragging and self-promotion to at most, once a month, unless, of course, it's outlandish and people will take it as a joke. Otherwise, HOLY CRAP, SHUT UP! You sound like you think you're better than everyone else. We get it. You rock.

Rule #7 - Don't hate on others. 
It pulls you down to the level of teenage drama and unless you're 15, is that really the face you're trying to put out into the world of 142ish people? Unless of course it's easily recognizable as jokes, in which case, roast away, but try to sound more like Sarah Silverman than Courtney Love, ya, know?

Rule #8. Try not to over-kill. 
This is my "in biggest need of improvement" area. Oops. I like all things Beatles. Sorry. I do try to shut up about it but sometimes I get all fangirl. You know how it goes. And then people stop talking to me. But while I'm at it...

Rule #9 - If you must complain about stuff, joke the crap out of it.
For instance, if your day at work sucked add a little "but I'm getting paid for it. Does that make me a hooker?" That'll get you one or two thumbs up, at least. Throw in references to like Office Space or something. Everybody loves the Office Space. And The Office. See, now you're thinking.

Rule #10 - Just be honest. 
People will love you more for who you are than who you are trying to be. The internet is eventually see-through. MST3K or Mystery Science Theatre 3000 for those of you not geeked up enough to get all intial, was once my favorite thing. For a minute anyway, I have a short attention span. And I was watching a making of or something with the writers and one of them said something I will always repeat to myself, but in paraphrased form 'cause, well, I don't remember it exactly, what do you think, I'm crazy? Anyway, they said something like- while putting in jokes for the show, they would start asking themselves, is anyone gonna get this?! Then they'd stop and say to one another, "it doesn't matter. The right people will get it.".

Unless, of course you happen to be babbling on about how cute you think McCartney was circa Magical Mystery Tour / India... Then people will just shut you out. But I mean... come on!

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