Friday, February 26, 2010

The sisterhood of nothing.

"So, do you have a sister?" -

This is a question I am asked more often than you could possibly imagine. And I'm sure that I'm not asked more than anyone else, but ever since February 27, 2005 this question has held more weight over the top of me than 40 bags of elephants.

Do I have a sister?

I have a brother. I have two sisters-in-law. This I know for sure. But do I have a sister?

I did have a sister. Five years ago today I had a sister. I had a sister and we were "eleven months apart" we would tell everyone with rolling eyes when they asked if we were twins.

And then five years ago tomorrow happened. 

And here's where it becomes a lonely mess. I never knew life without a sister. We were so opposite that we became each other's strengths. So what happens- at the age of 28 when it's all taken away? When everything you ever knew becomes a lie? You begin to question everything you believed in. You start talking to ghosts. You start desperately to write left handed because she was. You start trying to figure out how to delete her number from your phone. You start to try to become whole. And the entire time, you feel dropped in the middle of the ocean at night without a raft. 

And in some odd twist of things, the movie that Julie and I would always sing at the tops of our lungs became my life.  Everyone fighting some stupid battle over emotional territory, Jets and Sharks like. 

I still haven't been able to watch West Side Story in these five years of ... after. And it wasn't our only movie, but it's so much become her that I haven't wanted to open that part back up. Not that she got it in the back with a knife in the alley or shot in a basketball court at night, (apartment fire) but it's there. The sickening void is still there. 

And just in the way that there is a B.C. and an A.D. and we all live our existence to those measures of time, that's the way this whole business has been for me, too. 

"I had a sister then"

"Ooh, that's back when I had a sister"

"...Oh yeah, that's me now". 

That's just how it is, I suppose when something so ridiculously tragic happens. That's how you wrap your mind around it. Measures of time. 

So Julie, Judy, Jude. Hey. 

Oh, FYI The Beatles Hey Jude/Revolution LP was released on this date in 1970. That was her song. Weird. Because on this date in 2005 it was my sister's last day on Earth. 

Not to bum you out or anything. Just some thoughts I've never been able to get down. 

"When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day". 

This I know for sure.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Encino Man.

"I've recently discovered that I quote Encino Man a little too much to be considered 'a normal day down at the docks.' Buuuuudddy!" @amyleeferguson

What began as an innocent tweet has turned into this. My whole day ruined. My whole day now focused on this.

"Shoo fly, don't bother me. Shoo fly, don't bother me. Shoo fly, don't bother me, 'cause you belong to my friend Link"

Oh, Encino Man- How I've wasted several hours, days, months maybe of my life on you.

I say "waste" but you and I both know the truth. We loved.

We partied.

We weezed the juice. 

If you lived under a rock in the early 90s and have never seen Encino Man, do yourself a favor! 

How does this not make you happy?

I suppose that I could tell ya who was in it.

Pauly Shore. Obvs. - He plays Stoney. 

Sean Astin - He plays nerd Dave. 

Brendan Fraser - He's our hero, Linkavitch Chomofsky. From "Estonia". *winky winky*

Michael DeLuise from friggin' 21 Jump Street! Guess what else? cameo on LOST. And I'm sorry, but if you have 21 Jump Street, Encino Man and LOST on your resume, you = awesome. 

This movie is star packed!!! Robin Tunney? Please. She's a witch! Or played one on tv anyway. 

It's your typical story of nerd loves popular girl. Nerd digs pool in backyard with friend, finds a cave man frozen in ice and bathes him and takes him to high school. It's awesome. 

Trust me. 

I've just lost some street cred.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Will you be my Valentine?

Hugs and kisses and love to everyone. I heart you all.

And remember what those one guys said:

 "The love you take is equal to the love you make. Aaaahaaaaaa. Aaaaa"

Saturday, February 13, 2010

We love you Beatles, oh yes we do. We love you Beatles, and we'll be true.

Believe it or not, I've been busy today! Okay, not really, but all up in the tweets and Beatles there has been some action and I feel the need to defend myself. And this is what I'm doing on my Saturday night before the Valentine's Day. Blogging and watching Goodfellas. Oh, and defending my honor. 

Rise up my fellow fangirls.

And yes, no longer confined to facebook, the drama has found it's way to twitter. All H1N1 like.

It's not real drama, but it's enough to give me a little stink eye. It's enough to make me panic. It's enough to make me want to defend my fangirl ways. It's enough to make me want to defend ALL of our fangirl ways.

I don't want to be a fangirl. I didn't set out to be a fangirl. It's what I am. So I embrace it. I enjoy it.

You're probably wondering where all of this is coming from. "Where's the fire, Amy?" I know. Okay, my tweep @BeatlesLane got "all up in arms" yesterday about the fangirls (not really, but for dramatic effect he was in arms. All up). And he's right, he really is, but I took it personally. Like every thing else that's probably not about me. Perhaps 'cause I am a woman/ girl. Anyway, he tweets this:

"It's kind of sad (and/or annoying) that a lot of women/girls seem to like The Beatles for a much different reason than us guys like them for."

And I go like this:

Then  he wrote a blog to expand his thoughts. And I get it. I do. And I'm fascinated to hear the male perspective- any perspective other than my own- on the greatest band to ever live.

But here's how it boils down. THEY WERE HOT! It's no jokes.

They were hot. They were sexy. They were smart. They were witty. They were musicians. They were entertainers. They were the greatest thing in the history of modern music. Them being "hot" isn't going to take that away for me. And it's crazy fans like me that made them as big as they were- as big as they are. Fans like me enabled them to be catapulted as far as they went. That's a fact.  And I'm not gonna pretend that I wouldn't have been one of them. One of the screaming, ear-pulling crazies.

I would've been one of them. I am one of them.

Yes. I do know the history of The Beatles.

Yes, I do like their music more than anything else world-wide.

And yes. I do like looking at pictures of The Beatles. I like reading everything about The Beatles. I like listening to everything about, for and by The Beatles. And that doesn't make me just a fangirl.

I like everything about The Beatles that you like, but being a fangirl gives me, and the rest of us an extra edge on the rest of you. We get to swoon about them as well as all the other stuff. Total extra edge.

Now, I didn't write this for anyone to get all down on @BeatlesLane 'cause he's a really cool dude and he has a point. I just needed to bring up the other side. We're not bad people. We're pretty awesome actually.

It feels like as good a time as any for this. Yes?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Those snarky Starkeys.

Two things of great note in my life have happened in two days of each other. First off, Monday was Ringo's star getting. YAY RINGO!!!

More on that later.

On to more pressing matters. Zak Starkey.

Did anybody watch that football thingy on Sunday? Well, I drifted in and out of boredom / living room and when I was near the television, I saw a couple of commercials that were not to the hilarity standards that I expect my Superbowl commercials to be. So the fact that I even caught The Who during half-time is amazing in itself. The fact that I am now, several days later still thinking about Zak Starkey, of all people, is blowing my mind. 

For those TWO people that are reading this (and I say two so that I feel like I'm popular, as opposed to the real number of "just me") who may not  have a weird Beatle son obsession like I do, might be unfamiliar with this guy.

Now, I feel guilty admitting that Ringo's never been my fave Beatle and at times, I've even sworn to like Jimmy Nicol more, (he was a filler-in for Ringo once). And in that, all things Ringo have been passed by for the glitz, the glamour and the sexiness of the others. I mean... you know?

So, Ringo, I'm sorry for my selfish, shallow, fangirl ways.  And really soon I will break away from the above picture, from gazing into Paul McCartney's face and get back on with this post... and George. And John... sigh. Oh yeah, Ringo.

So this Ringo fellow has a son named Zak.

Zak grows up all drummer like and rockstar with rockstar hair and that's all I knew about him. I knew he was in Oasis for a bit. I knew he drummed with The Who. But who could have imagined that he would, on drums, overshadow The Who at the Superbowl in front of millions of people?! The drummer- a man most people haven't heard of- overshadowing a band that most people have. Amazing. And SO amazing because, unlike all the other Beatle kids, Zak doesn't have a "Beatle" name to carry him. I mean, you have to be really gone to have never heard the names "Lennon" or McCartney" and, though a little less famous to the peeps outside of my world, it's completely unforgivable to have never heard of "Harrison", but there are even casual Beatles fans that don't know Ringo's real name so "Starkey" doesn't hold much weight.

Zak is just totally awesome!

And a really good drummer. His form is just so amazing! If you watch his dad, it looks as though the drums are swallowing him and he's fighting his way out of it. Zak owns his drums. That's not to say anything about Ringo's drumming. I've played and failed Beatle Rockband. That's real life, man. Ringo is tough. Examples, yes?

I know, pictures aren't doing justice to what I'm talking about. Just trust me. Oh, okay. And videos. Videos will show you. Then you'll trust me forever. And ever. Does that scare you?

Links first. Then winks. Then videos.

Ringo's awesome star gettin'.
Zak's wiki-ness
reviews on Zak's Superbowl awesomeness.

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