Ghost Farts.

real ghost

I've become OBSESSED with ghost hunting shows. And paranormal shows. And pretty much anything that talks to dead people. Anything that's a real show that shows real things. None of this Paranormal Activity crap. That stuff gives me the spooks.

A psychologist would probably tell you that it has something to do with my dead sister, but when you start talking stuff like that then the pity party rug rolls out and then the finger pointing and hushed whispers and anyway, it's not so that I can talk to my sister like some sad sack from the John Edwards audience.

(Don't tell anyone but sometimes I try to talk to my dead sister. But that doesn't make me crazy.)

Let's start this over.

Where were we? OH! Ghost hunting.

Want to know which one's I watch? ALL OF THEM. I do. If I see that green screen it's Game On, guy.

Ghost Adventures or if you're my husband, "Ghost Bro"

So while we're here, let's talk about Ghost Adventures, which I just noticed was on the Travel Channel and not SyFy like all the others which is why I haven't seen it in a bunch of forevers. Hahah. Oh me. Anyway Ghost Adventures? Fake. Probably. And I keep calling it Ghost Adventurers which is really a better name for the show, am I right? My husband HATES this show and its Ed Hardy clad crew.

I love it. I like how Zak Bagans tough talks ghosts. He's so tough.


By the waaaay!!!!!!  DID YOU KNOW HE HAS A RECORD OUT?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ridiculous.

Click here to iTunes that gold.

Lol. I can't even with this. I think it's got to be a joke being played on me. I think my husband must be behind this. No way this is a thing.

"It's a thing, Bro"

And then the totally fake Haunted Collector. Psh.

This one. First off, how does a ghost grab onto an object and haunt the object? 'Cause if that's true, I'm never borrowing a pen ever again.

And I saw one episode that had a ghost going under the covers and then a lady who's totally hooking up with the main dude, grandpa or whatever his name is, she goes into a hole, digs around for about a second and a half and pulls out this "haunted coin". Lol. Did the ghost tell her where it was?

There's an old German Ghost yelling Jewish slurs up in this coin. 

And then there's the Ghost Hunters show. (Is that what it's called? I should look this up)

Ghost Hunters International, that's what I said. I mostly like that there's a lady named Amy on there and her hair looks blonde in night vision mode but she's really red haired. I like her better in night vision mode.

And TAPS which is the one I believe the most. Well, I think I believe the Ghost Hunters International one too. Wait. I think Amy's on TAPS? I don't.... I'm really bad at this. This is why I don't have a job at TV Guide.

The only reason.

Anyway.

Wait, are they the same show? I don't know. I don't pay attention. It's a ghost show, I don't care.

These TAPS dudes work as plumbers during the day.

Holy craps. I've just figured the whole thing out. Maybe they are fakes and let me tell you why.

Ghost farts.

Let me tell you that I am in LOVE with the Long Island Medium. Also, she blames farts on ghosts. I'm not kidding. Here's the episode if you want to watch.

And now I think TAPS might be blaming ghosts for their stink.

All of them are. If you have a gas issue, become a paranormal investigator. Or a medium. BLAME THE GHOSTS.

"What was that noise? Did you fart?" Nope, ghost.

"What's that smell?!" Ghost.

See?

So when I was watching Anderson Cooper today, I saw these ladies.

The Ghost Hunting Moms.

These are my people!!! Off to read their blog now.