Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Pretty Old in Pink

From time to time you'll see things that make you question reality like "Will Smith is older than Uncle Phil was in the first season on Fresh Prince!" or "We're further removed now from 'That 70's Show' than we were from the 70s when 'That 70's Show' began!" those kind of facts that make you retweet them with an "OMG!!" but you never quite let it sink in. It's so surreal that doesn't even hold proper weight. For me anyway.

There is one thing that makes me feel older than every fun fact in the land. 

Annie Potts' character in Pretty in Pink. 

I'm not joking. 

This movie came out in 1986. 

In 1986 I was a spunky 9 or 10 year old depending on what part of the year you want to go. I loved John Hughes movies and Molly Ringwald and pink and if I loved anything more than anything it was the 1960s. Very little has changed about me, by the way which is probably why this Annie Potts knife is so sharp. 

Let's break down the facts. As a 10 year old I looked up to Annie Potts's (extra s, no s? I don't remember) character, Iona as an older woman, "middle aged" I had assumed because I was 10 and because I did some math and based on this ensemble 

and that she danced to that horrible song "Cherish" by The Association, that put her in her mid 30s. Also known as old. But I was so looking forward to being like her when I was old. 

In about 3 weeks I'll turn 38. THIRTY EIGHT, PEOPLE! That makes me OLDER than "old lady, Iona". 

Holy crap!! And what's she doing hanging out with a 17 year old?? Or kissing Duckie?? 

I've just gained a whole new perspective. 

Fun Fact: if this movie were out today and I was Iona, (and I went to prom), I would be dancing with some child girl to Undone: The Sweater Song by weezer. 

As I look off into the distance and remember a time long ago, softly singing out of tune while the teenager rolls her eyes and smiles. "If you want to destroy my sweater, whoa oo whoa oo whoa pull this thread as I walk away."

Fitting. Unlike Andi's excuse for a repurpose.

Speaking of that horrible prom dress, I stumbled upon this amazing analysis of it. 

And even worse???? At the end of the Iona story, she meets a dude and dresses like a grown up. "NO WAY!" I'd think. Even that blog post about the horrible prom dress that I just linked to alludes to the absurdity.

Here's where the old lady water starts to get a little too comfortable.

When I take Wally to school, I always feel like I'm dressing like a child. I wear my t-shirts and my comfy pants and I kind of don't really dress like an adult. I dress like me, but I don't dress my age.

So I can get behind Iona's decision to be old lady. I get it. If I were looking to be taken seriously by people my own age, which I kind of feel like I want to be at times, well, it's not really a stretch. After years of trying to stand out, you get to a point were you just kind of want to fit in again.


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