Tuesday, December 31, 2013

New Year's Eve!! And Why I should Strangulelatte Heather.

I have a friend named Heather.

Heather told me that her friend told her that the state that your house is in at the end of the year is the state your life will be in the whole of the New Year or something terrifying like that.

And have you seen my house? Judging by the state of cat hair, strange bathroom mold and all over disaster, I'm in for a year of something.

Also, I can't stop thinking about the forewarning. It's looming at me like doomsday.

By my calculations, I have about 6 hours before the world ends. Or until 2014. Whatever.
Six or less hours to clean up my house. I'm not going to give into that nonsense. I did dye my hair today though so I look good while I ring in the new year. Priorities, people.
This kind of foolery gets me every year though. I'm a sucker for it. Religion, I don't do, but someone tells me to rub my left earlobe on a tree's bark to ensure my husband's success, and I'm out rubbing my head on a tree.
I don't even know.
I had a Filipino lady once tell me to put coins in all my window sills before the New Year struck for riches. I did that- I'm broke. I did get pregnant that year, though so possibly avoid that if the stork ain't your homeboy.
That same lady also told me to wear polka dots. I don't remember why. Maybe I should try that this year. Polka dots at midnight. It's not going to happen though and let me tell you why. Pajamas. I own Monkees pajamas and Dodgers pajamas and plaid pajamas and black holey pajamas and none of them are polka dotted. I'd have to bust out REAL PEOPLE CLOTHES. I'm wearing pajamas now, why the crap would I change into real people clothes for midnight??? Unless it was for riches.... We'll see. No rash decisions.
Also, there's an eating grapes thing. Probably for more riches or something, I'm not sure.
Maybe I'll try all of these things and buy myself a yacht!
Happy New Year my beautiful people!!!!!! Blogging more is my resolution so reading more of me should seem like a logical one for you. I mean, right?

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