Sunday, January 11, 2015

My Mariah Carey Year

On December 31 I promised my 2014 self that my 2015 self would be a better self. I've become maybe a worse self. 

New Year's Eve was wraught with potential. I was serious about it, too. 

"One more day of wasting hours on tumblr then it's serious business and a new you!" I exclaimed with gusto, only silently and to myself. I did come up with this plan while scrolling tumblr, though so I should've known it was going to fail. But! I was serious. My neighbor came over that evening with champagne and I joked that 2015 was my diva year! Then I thought about divas and champagne which naturally brought me to Mariah Carey and I came to an epiphany. I might be entering my embarrassing Mariah Carey years. As the night wore on and drinks were drunk my tv started playing One Direction performing on New Year's Rocking Eve or whichever one it was and I embarked on a one woman mission to make sure everyone knew that Harry Styles is handsome and beautiful. And charming! (And possibly gay.) And funny. And I wouldn't shut up about it. The rest of the night. 



Seriously though, right????

Mariah Carey: Level 2

Source: tumblr

Guys, I've been in a rut. Like an unmotivated, crabby, diva-like rut. Maybe I'm overwhelmed with it all. Or maybe I'm bored. Maybe it's because I've been waiting an eternity for Mad Men to return. And Bates Motel is not back yet either. And LOST has been over for 4 and a half years and no one wants to go back to the island with me. 

Source: reddit

I came to this post trying compare my year with Mariah Carey but I think I'm actually just Jack Sheppard, Season 3. Both involve drinking so, whatever, I'll continue on.

This Season 3 Jack Sheppard rut is kind of ruining my plans. I'm not sewing, I'm not writing, I'm not cleaning my house- though to be fair, that has little to do with a rut and more to do with that I would like a maid please. And a nanny. I would like to sit around in kicky little outfits cracking bad jokes and singing to no one in particular while someone else does all the washing and sandwich making. I need an Alice to my Carol Brady is what I'm getting at. 


So that's where I've been; sitting on my couch and avoiding facebook except when I think of something funny, scrolling tumblr and twitter, and thinking about how I should do something and then getting mad when someone (the husband) suggests that I get up and do something. I've also been busy breaking up fisticuffs between the children. This also makes me crabby. And diva-like. And wishing for an Alice. 

Alright I need to wrap this up because I'm supposed to be writing a PTA fundraising letter and I don't think they'd dig any Harry Styles or Carol Brady references in it so, I kind of have to buckle down on this even though we all know that Harry Styles sells. I'm just saying. Think it over, PTA. 

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