The sisterhood of nothing.

"So, do you have a sister?" -

This is a question I am asked more often than you could possibly imagine. And I'm sure that I'm not asked more than anyone else, but ever since February 27, 2005 this question has held more weight over the top of me than 40 bags of elephants.

Do I have a sister?

I have a brother. I have two sisters-in-law. This I know for sure. But do I have a sister?

I did have a sister. Five years ago today I had a sister. I had a sister and we were "eleven months apart" we would tell everyone with rolling eyes when they asked if we were twins.

And then five years ago tomorrow happened. 

And here's where it becomes a lonely mess. I never knew life without a sister. We were so opposite that we became each other's strengths. So what happens- at the age of 28 when it's all taken away? When everything you ever knew becomes a lie? You begin to question everything you believed in. You start talking to ghosts. You start desperately to write left handed because she was. You start trying to figure out how to delete her number from your phone. You start to try to become whole. And the entire time, you feel dropped in the middle of the ocean at night without a raft. 

And in some odd twist of things, the movie that Julie and I would always sing at the tops of our lungs became my life.  Everyone fighting some stupid battle over emotional territory, Jets and Sharks like. 

I still haven't been able to watch West Side Story in these five years of ... after. And it wasn't our only movie, but it's so much become her that I haven't wanted to open that part back up. Not that she got it in the back with a knife in the alley or shot in a basketball court at night, (apartment fire) but it's there. The sickening void is still there. 

And just in the way that there is a B.C. and an A.D. and we all live our existence to those measures of time, that's the way this whole business has been for me, too. 

"I had a sister then"

"Ooh, that's back when I had a sister"

"...Oh yeah, that's me now". 

That's just how it is, I suppose when something so ridiculously tragic happens. That's how you wrap your mind around it. Measures of time. 

So Julie, Judy, Jude. Hey. 

Oh, FYI The Beatles Hey Jude/Revolution LP was released on this date in 1970. That was her song. Weird. Because on this date in 2005 it was my sister's last day on Earth. 

Not to bum you out or anything. Just some thoughts I've never been able to get down. 

"When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way from your first cigarette to your last dying day". 

This I know for sure.

"Their manager's name is Mr. Brian Epstein"

Brian Epstein was a beautiful, troubled man, and today, August 27, marks the 42nd anniversary of his death.

He made The Bealtes and they made him and the world would likely be much less wonderful if, as legend has it, a teenager didn't come into his furniture store with a small music department in the corner and ask for a "My Bonnie" record by The Beatles (actually Tony Sheridan and backed by The Beatles).

And here's what I think is so awesome about Brian Epstein. He was a genius. An absolute marketing genius. It starts out that his family owns this furniture store. He gets put in charge, flips all the furniture so the backs are to the window and turns the failing store into booming business. He gets put in charge of the music section. It was like three racks in the back corner. He turns it into NEMS (North End Music Store).

So this kid, says Legend, rolls on into this NEMS, asks for this record by this German band called Beatles (we know now that they weren't German) and Brian orders the record, finds out that this band is playing a club called The Cavern during the lunch hour. He figures he must hear this band so, The Cavern being just down the street, Brian strolls on in with his high powered suit to this sweaty, stinking hole. He sees this sweaty, stinky band, clad in leather and charisma and he falls madly in love.

"I was immediately struck by their music, their beat, and their sense of humour on stage — and, even afterwards, when I met them, I was struck again by their personal charm. And it was there that, really, it all started" -Brian Epstein

He took The Beatles from this:

To this in the matter of a year. Impressive.

Now, to think that Brian Epstein had anything to do with The Bealtes' talent would be wrong. Brian made them marketable. He put them in suits and ties. He had them stop swearing, drinking and smoking on stage. He packaged them. He sold them.

Brian was gay. Brian was theatrical. He brought this to The Beatle image. And whether you want to believe it or not, even on the most sub-conscious level, girls love boys who may love boys. And so do boys. It's win win. But nobody loved "the boys" like Brian did.

Managing The Greatest Band in all of Music History opened the way for Brian to manage a few other bands, none to the heights of mania like his first catch (though no one else has yet to do so either, so you can't hold it against the guy).

His other bands included:

Gerry and the Pacemakers

Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas

The Fourmost

The Cyrkle

(alright, one more The Cyrkle, for Amy <3)

and Cilla Black

To name a few.

Thanks Christine! 

Brian's heart was with The Beatles, though and he worked tirelessly to jump start what we now know as "Beatlemania". Sure, Brian made a couple of mistakes (like, for one, taking 10 cents to the dollar for Beatle merchandise, costing The Beatles millions in revenue. Oops), but he meant well. But when The Beatles decided to stop touring in '66, he felt they didn't need him anymore, and was devastated. Heartbroken. Finished. With that self-imposed feeling of failure, and of being homosexual in a very... illegal time (though it did become legal in Britain, sort of, in '67), Brian fish-tailed out of control.

Sgt. Pepper was released in June of '67. A promotional party was held at Brian's house in May.

Where, incidentally, Paul met Linda who was there as a photographer

Then the Beatles did the All You Need Is Love bit in June.

And went to see the Maharishi in Bangor, Wales in August. And then found out that Brian had died.

And then The Beatles just couldn't get it back together.

Yoko Ono and Linda Eastman (later McCartney) both are remembered and blamed for their roles in "The Break-up of The Beatles!", but August 27, 1967, the day the Brian Epstein was found dead in his bed of an apparent over-dose was the needle that burst the Beatle bubble. Yoko and Linda just crawled in through the cracks.

Brian Epstein. Quite possibly one of the most important cogs in the Rock N Roll History wheel, and he did it all before the age of 32. Look it up if you don't believe me.

Elvis.

In case you have been living under a rock, or aren't as hardcore insane as I am, then you prob don't know that today marks the 32nd anniversary of Elvis Presley dying on a toilet. Sadly, when most people think of Elvis, they think of "Velvet Elvis"

and "Viva Las Vegas" Elvis.

And Elvis impersonators

And ... these people.

But the Elvis I think of first is him.

The sweet Elvis. Elvis before the boozin' and pillin' and beatin' and tv shootin' and Nixon cahootin'

I think of fun Elvis, Blue Hawaii Elvis.

Live A Little, Love A Little Elvis.

I like to think of the Elvis that walked into Sun Studios to record a song for his mother, Gladys.

I heart Elvis.

And without Elvis, neither John Lennon or Paul McCartney would have picked up a guitar.

RIP Elvis Aron Presley. (Jan 8, 1935 - Aug 16, 1977)

Scary movies and the real life no-nos I've learned from hating them.

Disclaimer: I do not own, or really even want to own any of the forthcoming images.

I hate scary movies. I really do. My husband loves them. Considering I hog the lap-top for hours searching out new Beatles' pictures and updating my Twitter/facebook stats or what-ever it is I waste time doing, I have rightly lost control of the tv. Right now, the tv is tuned in on Friday the 13th part 75 or something. It's absolutely ridiculous. "That's the point! It's supposed to be ridiculous!" he spits at me while gripping the throw pillow and cheering the screen. Whatevs.

Anyway, I have an over-active imagination and happen to be scared of a lot of insane and impossible situations. The last thing that I need is a movie planting paranioa seeds in my fertile brain. So I've come up with some rules that I live by so as not to die by the likes of Jason.

RULE #1

I do not camp. It will NEVER happen. Not in the woods. Not at the beach. If you would like to go and hang in a dark scary place with bugs and bears and only a flimsy piece of nylon keeping you from certain death including bone saws, then that's your problem. I will be at the Hilton. (Although, see RULE #2)

Friday the 13th.

RULE #2

I do not enjoy staying in hotels. I do not enjoy sleeping in hotel beds. I don't let my bare feet touch the hotel. Anywhere. What if there are dead hookers under the mattress? What if there are dead ghosts in the tub? I don't know what has happened in any hotel room before I got there. Therefore, I try to go into hotel stays as though there is still a crime scene and I'm wearing a HAZMAT suit. Nast.

The Shining. (Although, I do very much enjoy this movie)

RULE #3

I do not investigate strange noises. That goes for loud knocks in the middle of the night. It NEVER ends well. Ever. I do not hang out by myself in the dark while loud noises are rapping. It's just not my thing.

The Strangers

RULE #4

Oh yeah, no cabins. No camps.

Freddy Vs Jason

RULE #5

Now, I love all animals, I do. However, if they are foaming at the mouth, back from the dead, or on a mutha effin plane, I do find reason to pause.

Arachnophobia

RULE #6

Carnivals. I do like carnivals, I admit. They can be fun, they can be like the end of Grease and with singing and dancing and you might even find yourself in a pink car with Travolta flying for some reason. I won a goldfish at a carnival 8 years ago. His name is Nigel. But there is a darker world to the carnival. I think it happens at night. I became aware of this while watching one of my fav movies as a kid. Something Wicked This Way Comes. So here's the deal. Don't ride a merry-go-round backwards, if you have cheated roller coaster death, if you see this:

Killer Clowns From Outerspace

Then just go. There's no need to stay at creepy carnival.

RULE #7

BE WARY OF JAPAN. Now, Japan looks friggin' awesome. It totally does. However, WTF?!

Ju-on

Some scary crap happens in Japan, apparently. I am absolutely terrified. In fact, mental note, also be wary of S. Korea where this came from.

Pon

I know there are more rules that I adhere to involving this crap, but I'm creeped out. So I will leave you all with one more life lesson. If you see this:

 

Then don't answer the phone. Trust me.

Apartment 9

Once upon a time (2004), a few naive youths rallied together and came up with this. And yes, it IS as awesome as it appears. We shot this in Simi Valley, California in awesome, sweaty August with no fans or air-conditioning. Enjoy.