The Tooth

My oldest baby is 6. He's the GI Joe birthday party dictator from past posts. Well, a few weeks ago he says a kid knocked his tooth loose by looking at it too hard.

I think either he knows that kid from Twilight Zone Movie or it was just time for that first baby tooth to hit the bricks. 

So loose teeth fall out but not as quick as you think they will. 

When he told me about the loose tooth, I hit the internet, firstly Facebook because of course I did. I asked everyone what the going rate for a tooth is these days, which turns out isn't that much more than when I was popping out teeth. Either that or I have stingy friends.

And then I hit the next logical place of Internet trouble, Pinterest. 

And then I got distracted looking at diy boards because Pinterest.

That was two weeks ago. 

Today I get an email from one of the room moms that it happened. He lost his tooth at school!

Finally!!!! I was starting to worry he would choke on it in his sleep and all those other first time mom anxieties that still pop up on these first time things.

And then I got distracted. 

But tonight just before bedtime I hit to Pinterest because what kind of mother do I look like if I don't Pinterest the crap out of the tooth fairy thing????????

Also because Jack thinks that the tooth fairy is a man. 

I'm trying to shave off some years of his future therapy needs, you know? 

So I Pinterest. 20 minutes before bedtime.

It's pretty clear that I 

Have lost

My 

Mind.

And so I decided to stop.

I will not Pinterest this. (Even though I do really like that pillow with the mouth diagram on etsy that I might still buy. 

 I'll just put this here in case you decide that you need one too.) https://www.etsy.com/listing/70534577/tooth-fairy-pillow-personalized-with

You're welcome. 

Pinterest is awesome but sometimes it's too much. Jack is happy with a ziplock bag and a super cute note to the "Toth Fare".

That's all I need to do. 

And paint the dollar (okay, $5) with sparkly crap. 

Done deal.

Denying Pinterest. Is that too hipster of me? 

The Jumper

These posts are becoming increasingly boring. I realize this. So here's another, worse than the last. You can thank me later.

So you must all know that I sew. And rhyme but that's a different post. And that I have two boys. 

Well, Wally and The Beav want nothing doing with anything cute I want to sew them and this almost makes me feel like I'm not done breeding. But then one kid kicks the other kid and the screaming starts and I have to put my referee gear on and then I'm brought back to life. Back to reality. (If you're now singing, you and I are bests).

I'm probably stuck in a house of boys and smells and farts and urine. Forever.

  

So when any lady friend of mine has a girl with a birthday, IT IS ON 

So, my cousin (in-law if you're a stickler) has a little girl who just turned a year old and so, well, I don't have to tell you what's up. 

I GET TO MAKE LITTLE GIRL CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

So I picked out this super cute pattern online and got to going. I asked my cous-in-law what colors she likes and she told me hot pink and light blue. I had this perfect hot pink fabric all ready to go but this super adorable vintage fabric that my friend Becky sent me from her grandma- it kept yelling at me that it was a perfect match for the pattern.

I don't dare argue with fabrics. 

Right???

So cutting out and taping together I went. The worst part of making an outfit.

If I could hire someone to do this part for me I'd be giggly.

Step one: straps. 

Times 4. 

Some other sewing that I didn't get a picture of. 

Tag in.

More sewing and the top is together. 

And hobbit toes. I promise that I get them pedicured. I also promise all of these shots of the green toenails are the same pedicure job and I haven't renewed its subscription in about 6 months. (I will not say no to a gift certificate to a nice pedi place. *cough *cough)

Anyway, back to it. 

The bottoms.

Bottoms attached with elastic and everything. 

And then I cut the legs up a couple of inches because it looked really long to me. I don't really have reference but I held it up to my two year old for the 1/5 of a second that he was still and it looked long on him, I can't imagine what it would look like on a one year old. Well, I could and I wanted it shorter. So shorter it went. And then I put the edgings on the legs.

And then the crotch snaps went in, which by the way is a ridiculous name that I feel like I made up but I didn't. See in that last picture? I sewed ribbon in on the inside of the fabric so the snaps had some support, otherwise they'll rip straight through. 

And voila! 

The most time consuming part of this whole thing was cutting the pattern. I got this done in less than a day if you take out all the interruptions the kids threw at me.

Not too shabby. 

Here's the link to the jumper pattern if you want to sew it, too!!! 

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B9LWYTXwlREgU05FWDREVURyTHc/preview?pli=1

GI Joe Party - party favor edition

I know, am I still writing about this party??? I am. Deal with it.

This is the last entry on this party. I promise. Unless I think of something else to write about about it (?). But I wanted to show you how the party favors turned out!! 

I gathered all of this stuff, I got the sunglasses and compasses super cheap on Amazon and my friend Claudia hooked me up with some army dudes. Perfect!!! 

And then I wrapped them up all Pinteresty with wax paper and yarn and instagrammed my artwork. I'm turning into a person I don't even know anymore.

OHHHH! Also, I forgot to post pictures of the piñata bags which unless you're on Facebook with me, you haven't seen. So, what I'm saying is, you've already seen it. See it again! 

Oh that's too dark. 

See it again!

Cute right? With the date of the party stamped like a serial number?? And I put out crayons in an old tin can because Pinterest tells me in a soft, yet controlling voice that I have to use old tin cans for everything and I figured that way the kids could write their names on their stuff  and be able to find their own bags at the end of the party. 

Something something over land. and. air! Real American herooo! G. I. Joe! 

Is the guy who does the talking voice at the end of that song the same dude who does the talking voice at the end of the theme song for COPS? 

I could look that up but I'm lazy so I'm just going to say yes. Yes it is. 

GI Joe Party- the food

If you've been keeping up with the narrative of this GI Joe party business, then you'll remember the video game truck pizza party the same day that threw a major wrench into my whole planning.(is that the saying? I feel like I sound like Ricky Ricardo right now). Mostly because I didn't even want to think about food so we were going to order pizza and be done with it. Then comes this other invite in the mail addressed to the same exact kids I hadn't gotten around to inviting to our party yet saying VIDEO GAME TRUCK!!! AND PIZZZAAAAA!!

So in came the brainstorm. I have a friend that was in the Navy so I frantically texted her what they ate in the Navy. Basically it's like school lunches sounds like and it sounds kind of gross but then also MREs which I had to look up because I thought she misspelled McDonalds. 

MREs. This is what google imaged me. "So why couldn't I make my own on a brown paper sack????" said that part of my brain that doesn't understand that Pinterest isn't what real people do. 

Hahah. BUT! 

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, right????? What kid doesn't like peanut butter sandwiches?? Except my kid who doesn't like jelly so peanut butter only sandwiches too!! 

Wrapped in wax paper with GI Joe stickers keeping them closed

Cammo yarn for peanut butter only

Red baker's twine for pb&j

Ahhh! I was so proud of them! "Eat it, Pinterest!" I was heard to smirk. And then no one ate them :(  

Rude. 

But my sister-in-law made these super cute cammoflauge cupcakes 

and grenade looking cake pops. 

Those were both were gone in minutes. Oh! And my friend, Danica made cookies that were gone before I ever opened the bag I think so I didn't even get pictures of those. 

And my sandwiches cried lonely tears. Don't take it personally, sandwiches. 

I ate those sandwiches. I ate those sandwiches for DAAYYYYYYSSSSS

Yo Joe! Piñata part 2

Remember this thing? This homemade piñata by my own hands? 

that was supposed to look like this thing? 

Well, now we're going to cover it. Give yourself about a year and a half to complete this ridiculous task. 

I bought that crepe paper streamer stuff from Party City pretty cheap 

and then I cut it into manageable strips, fringed it and then glued it on. Piece by piece. If there is a quicker way, I don't know it. 

Now, I feel like I need to stop you here and let you learn from my mistakes. I thought I could cut corners by not painting it underneath. Hahah. I didn't realize that when the wind blew it you could see all the brown box under the fringe. You live you learn, am I right? Anyway, hours later...

Lol. 

Oh! Look in this picture, see the box under there? How embarrassing. Like looking under a Scotsman's kilt. 

So I got smart for the front and used shiny duct tape (or is it "duck" now?? I'm so not hip) for the mask part and glued strips flat down to the rest to cover the brown color of the box before I got down to fringing.

(Racist.) 

Oh, and by the way, I did the back first and then the sides and then the front. I don't know if this is the right way, but that's what this amateur did and the 6 year olds that beat it to crap couldn't have cared less so that might've been a good way, I don't care. You might. 

Anyway, I put the dark blue fringes first,

That took FOREVER. 

Then I did the light blue, then the white and then I used that milar shiny fringy icicle stuff at Party City for the face mask and viola!

Not bad if you ask humble ol' me. 

It held up through quite the punch 

But in the end all my hard work and sweat and tears were reduced to a pile of rubble in mere minutes by a group of 6 year olds with a bat. 

Story of my life, really. 

RIP Cobra Commander. 

RIP.